I dont wanna live but i dont wanna die

Username or email. Keep me signed in until I sign out. Suicide is the leading cause of external death in Spain and the leading cause of death in young people.

In my experience, these are different levels of depression. The 12 Steps are nice and all, and they keep me sober, but I suffered from deep depression and suicidal thoughts since I was a child—this is clinical depression that only medication can address usually. The first level of depression has nothing to do with actually dying. Unconsciousness is bliss to someone who finds the waking world miserable. This is why you see many successful people commit suicide despite having lives most of us dream of.

I dont wanna live but i dont wanna die

Theodora Blanchfield is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and mental health writer using her experiences to help others. She holds a master's degree in clinical psychology from Antioch University and is a board member of Still I Run, a non-profit for runners raising mental health awareness. Monica Johnson is a clinical psychologist and owner of Kind Mind Psychology, a private practice in NYC specializing in evidence-based approaches to treating a wide range of mental health issues e. Information presented in this article may be triggering to some people. If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. Major life stressors, childhood trauma , or untreated depression are all reasons that someone might feel this way. This can be considered suicidal ideation , which means thinking about taking your own life. The rate of completed suicides is even lower—for every 31 attempts, there is only one completed attempt. However, passive suicidal ideation can quickly turn active i.

Cross-national prevalence and risk factors for suicidal ideation, plans and attempts. But yet I hang on to faith and hope, in a world so dark, so very lonely, hoping for a better tomorrow that will probably never come. Reply to Bryant.

Home Mental Health Information. Does this thought feel familiar? If so, you are not alone. Many people who struggle with their mental health have experienced similar thoughts and feelings. Not everyone who thinks about dying wants to die. It is important to recognize the difference between passive and active suicidal thoughts or ideation.

Trigger warning: This post contains a frank discussion of suicide pertaining to feeling semi-suicidal. September is Suicide Awareness Month, and in honor of that, I want to share my experience with feeling semi-suicidal. My hope is that other people who have occupied this awful in-between space will understand that what they're going through is very real, and someone else has been there too. Over the last six years, I've been semi-suicidal many times. Semi-suicidal is a state of being where you may experience suicidal thoughts or feelings , but don't necessarily want to die. This looks different for different people, but for me, it typically involves thinking something like, "I don't want to die, but I just can't keep living this way, being this person. When I am semi-suicidal, I truly don't want to die. I don't want this life to be over, I just want it to be better, but in that moment, it doesn't feel like there's any way for that to happen.

I dont wanna live but i dont wanna die

If you experience suicidal thoughts, the following post could be potentially triggering. That is the classic thought of someone living with passive suicidal ideation. Once, I was very stressed and depressed while coming home from a business conference.

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Medically reviewed by Monica Johnson, PsyD. So what is the difference, if I take pills to stay alive, or if I take pills to die. Sign up. Put some distance between your thoughts and behaviors and talk to someone whether it be a friend, parent, or counselor about how you are feeling. Inline Feedbacks. But I promise you things can and often do get better. The combination leaves me in a state where I want to die a lot of the time, but the guilt of what that would do to my wife stops me. I have retired, work pressure is reduced, and yet I still wake at nights, or after minor emotional turmoil and wish to end my existence. Or you can make a list on your own—and nothing is too small to include. No, I just want to be… other than what I am now….

Theodora Blanchfield is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and mental health writer using her experiences to help others. She holds a master's degree in clinical psychology from Antioch University and is a board member of Still I Run, a non-profit for runners raising mental health awareness.

Remember those moments. I will have to suffer with these situations the rest of my life. My relationships with them are good. Have an account? Had a good career, have a wife and an almost adult teenager who I love, but I often wake in the middle of the night, wishing there was a button I could push to end my existence, with no pain for myself or for those around me. How is that possible based on what I just said? Try the things that work better for treatment resistant depression. When I found it she told me to discount it because it depepucted only how she really felt. And so I held on to that to keep me going, that little glimmer of uncertainty every time I thought about ending my life. Reply to Courtney. I promise. Related Articles. I am impulsive and Im afraid of my lack of control. Now that that had been taken away, everything seemed new and exciting. All the while, I have to live in this fucking culture that tells us what pussies and losers we are if we struggle.